Dumpster Deep Dive: You Got a Job on the Garbage Barge Prep Example
So you probably celebrate this or that nation’s independence from this or that other nation (trivial), but do you celebrate the day the entire world was freed from the tyranny of the to-hit roll? On May 17, 2010, the blog B/X Blackrazor wrote the declaration of independence from rolling two different times every time you make an attack in D&Dalikes. Revolutions have sprung and religions have been founded on less bold proclamations. A mere four years later, and this revolution was in full swing, spearheaded by 2014’s Into the Odd, which stripped all but the most necessary components of OD&D, including incorporation of the “auto hit”. Ten years from the post that started it all, Cairn sprouted from the soil carefully tilled by Into the Odd, which has since blossomed into an entire ecosystem of Oddlikes, united by their dedicated distaste for duplicative dicing.
I celebrate B/X Blackrazor Day, or at least I celebrated the 15th anniversary of the above-referenced post, and ran an adventure, You Got a Job on the Garbage Barge, using the Into the Odd (remastered) ruleset. Unlike my first attempt at running this adventure (which I detailed in an earlier post), this time I successfully ran the adventure by, well, running it and not starting off with an entirely separate amuse-bouche of an adventure, hoping that it would eventually lead to the garbage barge.
Recently, there has been a prep-based blog bandwagon, initiated by Roll to Doubt, the topic of which is “how do you prep for games”? My colleague at Among Cats and Books, at the end of their post, was so kind as to collect the entrants to this bandwagon. This post is my own hat in the ring, although thrown long after the initial call for hat-throwing.
Typically, I pithily remark that I don’t prep, which is mostly true, in that I don’t spend more than 30 minutes in advance of a session expending any dedicated effort in anticipation thereof. That is because I usually have my tools (among which I include adventure sites, e.g., dungeons) prepped in advance (with the caveat that when I need a new dungeon, that is when I will spend time doing actual prep, but a good dungeon [with a good party] is gonna last you a long, long time), which only ever require minor effort to recalibrate, I ideate between sessions so have lots of ideas in my head about what may happen (but don’t write those ideas down because I want to maintain flexibility to roll with the punches), and–most importantly–I am a mentat and what would take the average bear one thousand man-hours, working around the clock with their team of writers and concept-artists, I can do in seconds. If I had to hazard a guess, this last part is due both to lots and lots of experience performing improv theatre in my youth, and also that I have pretty concrete mental images when I run games, not just of the player-characters and their immediate environs, but broader, what are other people doing in connecting areas or even far off with their machinations. This is terrible advice, however, because “simply master the separate skill of improv theatre” is worse than “draw the rest of the owl” as advice. It would be akin to “earn a graduate degree in ornithology, and then draw the rest of the owl” as advice.
I don’t think I can teach how to roll with the punches (especially since this is Into the Odd, so all punches automatically hit), but I can at least expose the prep I did for running this adventure as a one-shot. Some of this is not generally applicable since it (1) relates to running a published adventure, and (2) relates to running said adventure as a one-shot. That both adds lots of constraints and also eases the prep burden. For prepping a published adventure, you mostly just need to read the adventure in advance, know how you want to start the session (some adventures have some guidance in this regard), and then react. Nonetheless, tools are helpful, especially for You Got a Job on the Garbage Barge which, for all its charm, does require some assembly–it is not unlike dumpster diving in that it is full of so many gems, if you are but willing to get your hands a little dirty (as opposed to the upgraded organization in the spiritual sequel, Vampire Cruise).
For a one-shot, you should go ahead and make pregenerated characters. You only have a few hours, so it is really not a good use of time to dedicate even 10 minutes (realistically, 30) to rolling up characters that are single-use. Making them pregenerated also lets you bake in hooks to adventure and connections between the characters, which makes getting the ball rolling on the meat of the adventure (this is my 10th mixed metaphor for this post, which means I get my 11th for free). For I am lazy, I didn’t want to have to write up detailed pregens myself, but luckily I did not have to! The (very railroady) sub-adventure inside of You Got a Job on the Garbage Barge includes an expedition team which are intended as NPCs, but really work better as player-characters. Too often, you’ll see an adventure that centers on really interesting NPCs and their conflicts and the PCs are just like their hired help, you may get involved but are never at the center of those conflicts. No, no, no, in such an instance, make the PCs the central figures! So for a one-shot, just hand the keys to those NPCs over to your players. I did have the players roll stats for their characters (in advance), mostly so I could assign the NPCs who would most benefit from an arcana-like power to those players whose stats dictated that they would start with an arcana. Here was the expedition crew:
Prof. Ossifer Hunch
STR 10, DEX 3, WIL 13, HP 6
Inventory: Flail (d8 B), Animal Feed, Brandy, Small Tape Recorder
The garbage barge has been around as long as anyone can remember, and has never even come close to filling up. It’s commonly assumed that some sort of weird magic allows the rubbish to go down almost infinitely, far below the ‘bottom’ of the vessel itself, but few have been able to put such theories to the test. Ossifer Hunch, a self-described ‘visionary scientist’, seeks to change this.
The chief scientist/expedition leader of the dive is never seen without what he earnestly believes to be a lab coat and seems to believe his chosen title of ‘professor’ is short for ‘Professional Fessor’. It is not clear what he believes a fessor is. He broadly sorts trash into two categories: ‘Science’ and ‘Misc.’ and records his observations into a small tape recorder. He only has one tape for it and simply records over it when it’s full. He would be dead many times if it wasn’t for the efforts of Mr Mandible.
Mr. Mandible
STR 12, DEX 16, WIL 7, HP 3
Inventory: Claws (d6), Prickly Fruit, Toy Frog, Too Snug Gastropod Shell
The long-suffering crabservant of Ossifer Hunch, Mr. Mandible is always polite, competent and impeccably dressed in a single bowtie. He’s fiercely loyal to his employer and, although he never drops his air of formality in front of the crew, there are rumours that Ossifer and Mr Mandible are familiarly tender in their private moments.
If Mr. Mandible becomes comfortable with anyone other than Ossifer Hunch, he may approach them in a great state of embarrassment - he has grown too large for his shell and must find a bigger replacement before he bursts right out of his current casing at what is sure to be a most inopportune moment!
Scoopin’ Jenny
STR 11, DEX 9, WIL 12, HP 2
Inventory: Spiked Fist (d6), Rubber Ball
Ability: You are fluent in over six million forms of communication. If it’s a language, you can probably speak it.
The Scoopin’ Jenny’s is an artificially intelligent boat autopilot that has been temporarily downloaded into a microwave oven modified with imprecise robotic arms and miniature tank treads. Her AI is rudimentary compared to the sophisticated AIs of the larger tugboats, but she’s advanced enough to make a valiant attempt at personality. Her likes include trash, her captain (Ossifer Hunch), junk, her crew and garbage (in that order). She dislikes ‘humpdays’, though she doesn’t think she’s ever tried one. Recently, she’s been experimenting with jokes. She has plenty of memory to store both set-ups and punchlines but isn’t programmed well enough to properly pair them up.
Jimlad Pewter
STR 11, DEX 6, WIL 9, HP 3
Inventory: Handcannon (d8 B), Holy Book (can summon a 20ft area of tentacles that lash out and grab. Anyone within must pass a STR Save to break free. The mass of tentacles has 10 HP and are destroyed [along with the book] at 0 HP), Half of a Beer-Stained Treasure Map
There’s not one thing Jimlad Pewter owns that he came by honestly. His boots were taken from a sleeping wizard, his hair was the wig of a former squatter radio host, and even his teeth were stolen from a dentist’s dummy. He makes it work, though, and so far has always been able to talk his way out of any trouble and into any heart he chooses.
Pewter recently came into possession of a partial map, related to an old legend of a god that was thrown away by an ancient civilization and still waits, deep under the trash. Epox, the God of Broken Things. If the map can lead them to this discarded deity, it could make them very rich and very powerful. He reckons with a genuine god on his side, he might be well on the way to running the whole damn barge.
And if they have to get rid of Hunch and take over the expedition to do so, well… accidents happen.
Rufia Blunge
STR 14, DEX 15, WIL 12, HP 3
Inventory: Glaive (d8 B), Barbed Wire, Preserved Fish
The expedition’s navigator is a tall, thin woman with a conspicuously absent nose. She’s known Jimlad for decades and has an almost inexhaustible supply of old-timey stories about her time on the barge. Her inability to smell is seen by many as a hindrance, but Rufia says she’s learnt to navigate the stenches by mouthfeel (in fact, she won’t stop saying that, no matter how much the rest of the crew protest).
Rufia used to be a goat-hunter and lost her nose to the fabled Übërgöät, a terrifying beast said to hail from deep below the trash.
Granny Hoggin
STR 11, DEX 14, WIL 16, HP 4
Inventory: Knife (d6), Cleaning Tools, Worthless Crystal
A once-beloved grandma dumped onto the barge when her grandchildren grew tired of her, Granny killed for the first time about four months ago and has developed a real taste for it! She’s fast friends with Jimlad and keen to swap murder tips with any character who looks capable of significant violence. She dislikes people referring to any other grandmothers.
If too long goes by without any real killing, Granny may get a case of itchy knives and start sizing up the rest of the crew.
The Boffs
STR 11, DEX 15, WIL 10, HP 4
Inventory: Mallet (d6), Smoke-bomb, Mousetraps
Somewhere between three and seven identical raccoons who all have the same name (Boff) and get irate if you get them mixed up. They have one eyepatch, which they share.
The Boffs are an intensely tight-knit group with a social dynamic so complicated it’s practically arcane. On the rare occasions their conflicts threaten the cohesion of the group, a trusted outside party might be invited to adjudicate their squabbles. It is not a good idea to reject said invitation.
This is prep! It is a special type of prep: player-facing prep. Stuff you whip up to give to your players before or at the start of a session. I sometimes like giving different players little secrets that their character knows but isn’t otherwise known to the group. I like to see what they do with it. I like to perform little experiments and give some players a marshmallow with the promise of a second marshmallow if they can refrain from using it. Stuff like that.
My main prep for the adventure, which was already crammed with good ideas (that’s why I used it, after all) was to help me decide (and remember) when to deploy said ideas. For this, I like procedures. I know, I know. “Procedures? What is this, the 2022 blogging scene?!” For some of us, it will always be the year of the procedure. Here is a variant of the hazard die I mostly used (and sometimes forgot to use, frankly) during the adventure. The map already distinguished between “surface trash” and “solid trash”, so depending on what trash the party was surrounded by, the roll table differed somewhat:
| Risk Die | Surface Trash (d4) | Solid Trash (d6) |
|---|---|---|
| 1-2 | Smell (p. 49) | Smell (p. 49) |
| 3 | Trash (p. 56) | Trash (p. 56) |
| 4 | Random Encounter | Random Encounter |
| 5 | N/A | Trash (p. 56) |
| 6 | N/A | Random Encounter |
The smells and trash tables in the back portion of the adventure already served well my purposes, but I was not as happy with the random encounter table. It definitely would have sufficed in a pinch, but I wanted something with slightly more structure to it, where they were more likely to encounter the Übërgöät only if they were in deep, deep garbage. Also, frankly, as obvious to any frequent readers of my blog, I like complex random tables for whatever reason. So I made the below 1d20+X table, which hinged on the numbered locations in the adventure. The higher the number, typically the deeper in the trash, so the more deadly the encounter. The encounters themselves are pretty much as they appear in the adventure otherwise.
Random Encounters (1d20 + Nearest Location)
If they already encountered it (except 18-30), then use the first unused result below.
| 1d20 + Nearest Location | Random Encounter |
|---|---|
| 2 | Sawdust floor, hip deep |
| 3-4 | 1d6 Stray Goats |
| 5 | Pitched tent scrawled all over with names |
| 6-7 | 3d6 hotel toads (p. 14) |
| 8 | Carpeted floor sags wetly with each step |
| 9 | Thalia Flora-Karavia (p. 42) |
| 10 | Small trash quake (roll for Trash, p. 56) |
| 11 | 1d4 Ex-Boffs (p. 45) |
| 12 | Half disassembled machinery. Attached note reads: DON’T TOUCH. KAT’S. If ignored, roll on new items chart + 3 liabilities (p. 8) |
| 13 | Afterdamp (p. 15) rising from a grate in the floor |
| 14 | Nico, looking for kittens (p. 32) |
| 15 | Lux, looking for Nico (p. 32) |
| 16 | All 5 kittens (p. 32) |
| 17 | Stinkdamp (p. 22) infested leather jacket |
| 18-19 | 1 Squatter (p. 31) |
| 20-21 | 1 Speaking Possum (p. 30) |
| 22-24 | 1 Scent Merchant (p. 53) |
| 25-26 | 1 Speaking Racoon (p. 31) |
| 27-28 | 1 Speaking Beetle (p. 26) |
| 29-30 | 1 Copper Mask Wizard (p. 21), guarded by a Badlander (p. 20) |
| 31 | Pungent, sweet condensation drips from above |
| 32 | 10-foot pit containing 5 feet of Hotel Toads (p. 14) |
| 33 | Stuck garbage cube (p. 22) |
| 34 | Timid combo animal (p. 42) made of glowing orange slime |
| 35 | Tiny charlatan (p. 20), all alone |
| 36 | Scattering of fliers for a show last week: Sunk & Manasquan opened for Lacewing eyes |
| 37 | Nest containing 2d6 charlatans (p. 20) |
| 38 | 1d4 Badlanders (p. 20) guarding something valuable |
| 39 | Kappin (p. 47) |
| 40 | Blackdamp (p. 22) |
| 41 | 1 Jelly Shark (p. 39) |
| 42 | Graffiti of a ghostly green tug-boat |
| 43 | Bottle Golem (p. 47) |
| 44 | Prince Victor Lorenzo (p. 47) |
| 45 | 1d6 YuHoos (p. 33), arguing |
| 46 | Porthole. If you shine a light out, a squid’s eye the size of a dinnerplate will appear and stare silently back at you |
| 47 | 1 Speaking Betta (p. 24) |
| 48 | A Residence (p. 28) containing 1d4 speaking bettas (p. 24) |
| 49 | A pearl diver, trying to find anyone to help him rescue a friend who disappeared into the murk bilge |
| 50 | Übërgöät (p. 48) |
For the adventure itself, I found the “You’re Going on a Trash Dive” scenario in the book quite lacking. Although it is full of great ideas (like the aforedescribed NPCs I turned into PCs), it is structured as a very linear adventure, the “series of encounters, in order” type of adventure so popular among the 5e crowd. So my first structural change was to have the expedition party not start with the digging machine. Instead, Scoopin’ Jenny would be a microwave person like Neptr. This gave the players an initial goal of trying to find a machine that could dig through the trash. There was also a hint in Jimlad’s description of a more complete map, so I wanted to be prepared if they were to follow that thread also. All I really needed for all that was the below:
Huge, rickety tunnelling machine can be found in the Ordnance Field (#27, p. 17), but it requires a ship-AI to operate. Half of a map of the Underbarge can be found in Hyacinth’s Bar (#25, p. 16).
Now, once they got to digging, that was when the adventure went on its rails. If I had lots of time to prep, I may have designed a vertical dungeon where it mattered which direction they dug, etc. But I did not have that kind of time, so just wrote up a small mechanic which would make their digging capability matter somewhat, but is basically still a series-of-encounters (like the original scenario), just with the possibility of different orders or skipping some. However, we spent so much time futzing around that I only rolled on the below table a couple of times before hand-waving them to the cockroach city. I was aiming for a tight 3-hour session, and if we broke through my deadline, I would be late to bed. It’s a school-night, folks. Most of this didn’t really matter anyway. What I could have prepped if I had perfect hindsight, would be how the machine controls and what the interior of the machine looks like (or the exact mechanisms by which a personality can be stored on a tape or VHS). That is because the most dramatic moments happened as the internal party tension heated up inside the machine, as it dug deeper, with multiple attempts at PvP (which were also metagame attempts to re-add to-hit rolls by performing actions where, if a saving throw failed, it would incur damage to another character). But anyway, below is what I put together.
Under the Garbage:
Requires some means of burrowing through the solid trash.
Each turn of burrowing, roll 1d6 and add it to the cumulative result. Roll 2d6 if you have a complete map of the Underbarge.
| Roll | Result |
|---|---|
| 1-5 | Random Encounter + Trash |
| 6-9 | Jigstorm (DEX Save for driver or damage burrowing device, requires 1 turn in a safe place to repair) |
| 10-12 | Afterparty + Bottle Golem |
| 13-15 | Smutpile |
| 16+ | Kockeroach City |
For Kockeroach City, again, if given time, I may have prepped a real city (not in a Citystate of the Invincible Overlords sort of way, of course. I have read Dwiz’s blog series, have you?). Instead, I just wanted enough to riff off of. The below lines, plus a map of an Atlantis-themed beach resort is more than enough riff fodder for the Riffler, but in the end, I didn’t need it. Reaching the city at the bottom of the trash heap was a satisfactory enough ending for a chaotic session.
The Paparoach knows the location of both the cavern of the Ubergoat and the Temple of Epox but is not willing to tell these secrets to just any outsider. They must earn his trust.
All that to say, my advice to you is to take some classes at your local improv theater and draw as many owls as you can.
